"Grieving: A Personal Story" Genesis 23: 1-19; John 11: 17-27

This sermon grows out of my own experience of dealing with the death of my father earlier this year.  It is not intended to be a theological or biblical analysis of death and grief or just sharing of my own personal experience, but a sermon that begins with my own grieving process and is informed by theological and biblical insights.

Here are the thoughts racing through my mind:

Personal stuff:
   a.  Due to my own experience as a minister, I have dealt with many people's deaths. I have held hands with people as they died; spent time with them and then left just before they died; been away on vacation when they died; been with family members in complete shock at sudden death; prayed with family members as they made decisions about life support; and had some relatively straight-forward experiences of death.

But it feels different when it is my own father.

  b. I have experienced the shock of sudden death three times:  an officer at my door to inform me that my aunt and uncle had died in a plane crash; a phone call to tell me that my friend Ed DeLair had died a few hours earlier; a phone call from the ICU nurse to tell me to return to the hospital, which led to her telling me that my father had died unexpectedly.

  c.  Community of faith support matters.

  d.  all the conversations and public gatherings related to the post-death process can be helpful and insightful.  I know my father better after hearing from others about how they knew him.  I have preached that before as a truth, but I experienced in a new way when it happened with my father.

  e.  I have preached at my grandmother's funerals; my aunt and uncle's funerals; my wife's great-grandfather and grandfather's funeral; Ed DeLair's memorial service; several other relatives funerals; and at my father's funeral.  I know some ministers who do not want to preach at relatives' funerals, but it has been something that I have done through the years.

  f.  as I flew home for my father's funeral, I kept having this conversation with God.
 
       Richard:  God, what's going on.  I don't like this.
       God:  I'm God and you're not.  Go read Job.
        (repeat, repeat, repeat)
       Richard:  God, I don't really want your job, but I don't think you're doing a very good job.
       God:  You don't have my job, so don't worry about it.

Theological/biblical insights:

  a. The pain Martha feels as she races to meet Jesus in John 11 is one people often feel.  Our loved one has died; we want Jesus (God) to do something about it; and we are  a bit angry and accusing as we turn to God.  And there is Jesus with the hope and the promise:  "I am the resurrection."  It does not change the reality of the earthly death, but it reshapes how we move into the future.

 b. Grief and trying to figure out what it means when a loved one dies is not just a Christian response, but a human response.  In the Genesis passage Abraham wants to make Sarah's burial place significant.  he approaches the non-Israelite king to buy a place worthy of her burial.  He does not know how to respond when the king not only recognizes his grief, but also offers to help Abraham find a suitable spot to bury Sarah.  The king my not follow God, but he understands the issue.  We Christians have no monopoly on grief or struggling with death; but we do have a hope in the face of death.

c.  there cannot be a resurrection without a death.  Our great hope is intimately tied to our great fear.

d.  death humbles us as we discover that we cannot control it, or manage it, or make it go away.  Death reminds us that we are not God.

e. God has a plan.  I hear that a lot.  I know people who find great comfort in that thought.  I believe it.  But I believe it in the context of God saving and redeeming the world, not necessarily in the specific context of "God needed an angel in the choir," (when a child dies) or "God needed a director for the next play" (int he case of my father's death).  We struggle to live in the ambiguity of our humanity and try to resolve that by attributing to God more than ought to at times.  But, I strongly affirm that God is in the midst of our grief comforting us and leading us to a new place, and God's plan to save my father and the world gives me hope.

What do you think?

Peace,

Richard