Reflections on "Broken Relationships" I Samuel 16: 1-13

“Broken Relationships” March 26, 2023 ; SAPC, Denton; Dr. Richard B. Culp; I Samuel 16; 1-13; Lenten 2023 series

The Lord said to Samuel, ‘How long will you grieve over Saul? I have rejected him from being king over Israel. Fill your horn with oil and set out; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided for myself a king among his sons.’ ²Samuel said, ‘How can I go? If Saul hears of it, he will kill me.’ And the Lord said, ‘Take a heifer with you, and say, “I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.” ³Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; and you shall anoint for me the one whom I name to you.’ ⁴Samuel did what the Lord commanded, and came to Bethlehem. The elders of the city came to meet him trembling, and said, ‘Do you come peaceably?’ ⁵He said, ‘Peaceably; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord; sanctify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.’ And he sanctified Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.

6 When they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, ‘Surely the Lord’s anointed is now before the Lord.’ ⁷But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’ ⁸Then Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. He said, ‘Neither has the Lord chosen this one.’ ⁹Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, ‘Neither has the Lord chosen this one.’ ¹⁰Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel, and Samuel said to Jesse, ‘The Lord has not chosen any of these.’ ¹¹Samuel said to Jesse, ‘Are all your sons here?’ And he said, ‘There remains yet the youngest, but he is keeping the sheep.’ And Samuel said to Jesse, ‘Send and bring him; for we will not sit down until he comes here.’ ¹²He sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and had beautiful eyes, and was handsome. The Lord said, ‘Rise and anoint him; for this is the one.’ ¹³Then Samuel took the horn of oil, and anointed him in the presence of his brothers; and the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David from that day forward. Samuel then set out and went to Ramah.

Introduction:  As I was reflecting this week on our Lenten preaching series on relationships this week and realized that we have reflected on sinfulness, unhappy relationships, and today, broken relationships as part of the series, I thought, “was I having a bad day last November when we were picking out the weekly sermon topics and colors and charms for our Lenten time together?   

Maybe.

On the other hand, Lent is the journey to Easter - we start with repentance on Ash Wednesday and travel a journey of preparation for God’s glorious act of resurrection.  How better prepare ourselves for resurrection than claim our sinfulness and brokenness and give it all over to God the God of resurrection.

So I invite you this morning to reflect on any broken relationships and brokenness you have in your lives

Move 1: “how long will you grieve over Saul?”

a.  God’s question for Samuel reveals broken relationships at several levels.

1.  King Saul and his trusted prophet/advisor Samuel now have a broken relationship.

2.  King Saul and God now have a broken relationship. 

3.  and, in the Israelite world where their king’s relationship speaks to the Israelite’s relationship with God, it would even appear that God’s relationship with Israel is at risk.

4. Perhaps you experienced a broken relationship and know how it impacted you and reverberated through your life.

b.  Maybe no one should be surprised that King Saul’s relationship with God and with Samuel ends up broken.

1. Remember how having a king of Israel came about?  (Go back and read the 8th chapter of 1 Samuel this afternoon).

2. the Israelites were no longer satisfied with their relationship with God.

4.  they wanted a king like all the other nations around them.

5. Samuel warned the Israelites on God’s behalf that they did not need a king and it would end badly.

6. But the Israelites did not listen;

7. they were more than willing to trade in the special relationship they had with God for a king.

6.  The Israelites had insisted on having a king, and now it has gone wrong.

c.  Regardless of whether these broken relationships were predictable, it still hurts.

1.  Samuel grieves the broken relationships.

2.  The Hebrew verb for mourning [grieving] here usually refers to mourning rites over one who has recently died.  

It is the same verb form used when Jacob believes that Joseph had died (Genesis 37:34), 

when the wandering Israelites mourn those dead after a plague (Numbers 14:39), 

and when David mourns over the death of one son and the abandonment of another (2 Samuel 13:37).  David G. Arber, Jr. Associate Professor of Old Testament and Hebrew McAfee School of Theology, Mercer University

4.  Broken relationships often feel like a death.

5.  They command our grief.

d.  Grieving may also take time.

1.  If we go back to the end of Chapter 15, we are told that Samuel is grieving the broken relationship with Saul.

4.  We do not know how long Saul grieves.

5. in the text, it is just a few verses, but given God’s question, “how long?”  we might guess that Samuel is like us - finding it hard to move on from broken relationships as we cling to our broken past. 

move 2: “how long are you going to grieve over Saul?”

a.  NOt just a question God has for Saul, but a sign that broken relationships are not the final word.

1.  As if God is saying to Samuel, “get over it, get up, and go anoint the next king.”  (David G. Arber, Jr. Associate Professor of Old Testament and Hebrew McAfee School of Theology, Mercer University)

2.  Saul’s broken relationship with God will not be the end of God’s relationship with Israel.

3.  Saul’s broken relationship with Samuel does not end Samuel’s role as Israel’s prophet and anointer of kings.

4. Out of brokenness, God will shape a new future for Samuel and for Israel.

5. that is the word of hope for us today - out of our brokenness God is shaping a future for us.

b.  We see Samuel struggling to recognize the possibilities for the future.

2. he is in the pain of brokenness.

3. He cannot see beyond the moment.

  4. when we experience broken relationships, we can get to where we cannot see beyond the brokenness.

c.  But God is not done with Samuel and Israel.

1. Samuel may not be able to see the next step, but God does.

2.  God will provide the next king - David.

3.  A story we know well.

d.  notice that moving forward from a  broken relationship is scary for Samuel.

1.  he rightly recognizes that Saul may be angry with him.

2. he does not follow a straight path, but sort of wanders and weaves into the future.

6.  Moving forward in his life and the life of Israel will have its own set of challenges, but God is leading him so there is a path through the brokenness.

d. we also notice that the future path God offers Samuel has a surprising twist.

1.  If Samuel were to anoint a new king, surely it would be one of Jesse’s older sons.

2. But one by one the older sons process by Samuel and none of them are the one.

3.  Surprise - the future God lays out for Samuel and for Israel will be found in David, the youngest son so unexpected to be chosen that he stays out in the fields instead of coming to see Samuel. 

4. Why? Because David has the heart God desires.

5. the healing of our broken relationships may lead us to surprising places and people. 

Move 3:  Our Lenten journey this year has invited us to reflect on the different relationships we have, even our broken relationships.

a. If our reflections along the way have not led us to see some of our own brokenness, just wait.

1.  next Sunday on Palm/Passion Sunday, we finish the service reflecting on how we betray Christ.

2.  Then, Holy Week arrives with a maundy Thursday, a wonderful celebration around our Lord’s Table, even as we remember that Christ’s disciples, his friends,  will go from the Table into the night to betray Christ. 

3. On Good Friday at the Tenebrae service, we will tell the story of betrayal and brokenness when the world breaks its relationship with Christ, leaving him alone and forsaken. 

4.  The journey through Lent to Easter is full of brokenness and broken relationships.

5.  It calls to the forefront all our brokenness.

b. But lurking in the shadows is the empty tomb.

1.  Lent leads us to Easter when we discover anew the possibilities of a God of resurrection.

2.  the great proof that broken relationships, that our brokenness will not have the final answer.

3. The God who sent Samuel to anoint Saul, 

and then calls Samuel to give up his grief over Saul and go anoint David; 

this God is not done and will not be done until all our brokenness, and all our broken relationships are made whole.

Conclusion:  In our Lenten reflection time after the sermon, you are invited to reflect on broken relationships in your life.

then, as you leave your pew at the end of the service, leave your fabric square behind - a reminder that we turn our brokenness over to God and trust in God to heal and show us a way forward. 

Samuel asks God, “how can I go?”

We know the answer:  we can go from our brokenness because God is leading the way.

Reflections on “Unhappy Partners” Exodus 17: 1-7

this week was a bit of a struggle.  Using this text to discuss our own unhappy relationships was a bit of a stretch as the text was about a group of people (Israelites) being unhappy with Moses and God.  Next week is also about broken relationships, which must have made sense on the day I laid out the sermon series, but did not make as much sense as I worked on unhappy relationships while not using material for broken relationships.  I wish I had a redo on the sermon series outline process!

 “Unhappy Partners” March 19, 2023 ; SAPC, Denton; Dr. Richard B. Culp; Exodus 17: 1-7; Lenten 2023 series

Exodus 17: 1-7 10 From the wilderness of Sin the whole congregation of the Israelites journeyed by stages, as the Lord commanded. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink. ²The people quarrelled with Moses, and said, ‘Give us water to drink.’ Moses said to them, ‘Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you test the Lord?’ ³But the people thirsted there for water; and the people complained against Moses and said, ‘Why did you bring us out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and livestock with thirst?’ ⁴So Moses cried out to the Lord, ‘What shall I do with this people? They are almost ready to stone me.’ ⁵The Lord said to Moses, ‘Go on ahead of the people, and take some of the elders of Israel with you; take in your hand the staff with which you struck the Nile, and go. ⁶I will be standing there in front of you on the rock at Horeb. Strike the rock, and water will come out of it, so that the people may drink.’ Moses did so, in the sight of the elders of Israel. ⁷He called the place Massah and Meribah, because the Israelites quarrelled and tested the Lord, saying, ‘Is the Lord among us or not?’

Introduction:    Milton Brasher-Cunningham in his blog don’teatalone, describe life in the wilderness for God’s people.

Life for the Hebrew people was a mixed bag after they left Egypt. They were no longer enslaved, which was great, but they were nomads. They had no home, no place to go. They lived in the desert, so food was not easy to find. Yes, God sent manna from heaven every morning, but God sent manna from heaven EVERY morning. The menu didn’t change. Life didn’t seem to be changing. Whatever was coming next never seemed to arrive. (https://donteatalone.com/communion/lenten-journal-snakes-on-a-plain-2; March 11, 2018; blog don’teatalone,; Milton Brasher-Cunnigham)

This time in the wilderness is such a good time that Moses will name the place Massah and Meribah, which mean quarrel and test, because the Israelites quarreled and test the Lord.

Instead of bonding together over the wilderness experience their relationships were fraying.

they were unhappy with each other;

they are unhappy with Moses;

and they are unhappy with God.

Perhaps you know what it is like to be unhappy;

unhappy with the people with whom you are traveling through your life (literally and figuratively);

unhappy with life’s circumstances;

unhappy with someone or something, and you’re not even sure why.

We have frayed relationships - the orange fabric square you have this morning has a sheared edge;

as you touch or look at the ragged edge, perhaps you can imagine some of the ragged edges in your relationships that make you unhappy.

If you are at home, perhaps when you color in the orange, do it in jagged strokes.

The color orange - well, we needed the color orange for our art piece;  maybe you can see it as a blend of red and yellow and be reminded of how we are bounded together in our relationships. 

As we reflect on the story of unhappiness among the Israelites in the wilderness, perhaps you may have some insights for your own relationships.

Move 1: the fraying of relationships often takes place over time.

a.  Not the first time the Israelites have been frustrated, mad at Moses, and maybe God. 

1.  In fact, This is not the first time the Israelites have lacked for water. 

2.  The first time, they had been in the wilderness for three days (Exodus 15:22). When they arrived at Marah, they found the water there undrinkable on account of its bitterness.

3.   After the people complained, Moses called out to God and God provided a piece of wood, which, when thrown into the water made it sweet and potable (15:23-25a).(https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-26/commentary-on-exodus-171-7-2;  Amy Erickson, Associate Professor of Hebrew Bible Illiff School of Theology Denver, Colo.)

4. Here they are again - looking for water and getting cranky.

4.  Unhappiness can build over time.  Not one thing, but a series of things.

b. We might also notice the Israelites’ unhappiness over not having water despite the fact they know this problem is solvable.

1.  Did not seem to matter that they had worked things out previously.

2. they had needed water before, and God had provided.

3. Surely God will provide again.  no need to quarrel and test. 

2. But they do. their unhappiness spills over.

Move 2:  Often, the unhappiness we have is really about something else.

a.  The Israelites say give us some water to drink.

1. Fair request.

2.  Straight forward.

3. A request that had been taken care of previously. 

b.  But notice - Moses interprets the people’s concern about water as something more. 

1.  Apparently unfazed by the lack of water himself, Moses accuses the people of testing Yahweh: “Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you test Yahweh?” (17:2).(https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-26/commentary-on-exodus-171-7-2;  Amy Erickson, Associate Professor of Hebrew Bible Illiff School of Theology Denver, Colo.)

2. Moses has the insight that the unhappiness in the moment is about more than just water.

3.   Parenting class years ago.

3.  psychologist suggested we track when we got the angriest with our kids and when we seemed to not get angry.  

4.  Write down what your child did

write down what was going on that day in the parent’s life

write down the reaction you had as a parent.

Kind of interesting journal entries.

5.  She suggested we might find that the angriest reactions would be more closely connected to when the parent was having a bad day than what the child was doing.

6. The anger in the moment had been building before the moment the anger was expressed.

c. Perhaps the water was not the root cause of their unhappiness in the wilderness.

1.  Perhaps they feared that God would abandon them.

2.  Or, they were concerned that their time in the wilderness would go on forever.

3.  Maybe they were tired of being nomads. 

4. perhaps this transformation process of becoming faithful people who trust in God was taking a toll on the Israelites.

5. As Moses hears their complaining, he knows it is about more than the water.

our unhappiness is often about more than the last thing that happened.

Move 3:  To move forward and do the work of reclaiming happier times often requires risk and vulnerability.  

a. We see this first in how Moses responds.

1.  When God tells Moses “go on ahead of the people” (Exodus 17:5), the Hebrew verb is ‘br, “to cross over”, followed by the preposition liphnê, literally “to or before the face of.” 

2.That is, Moses must cross in front of the people, and in so doing become vulnerable to their anger, fear, and insistence. In so doing he will also see the need that is written upon their bodies and in their faces, and he will have to confront and respond to the magnitude of their thirst. (Anathea Portier-Young, Associate Professor of Old Testament Duke University Divinity School, https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/third-sunday-in-lent/commentary-on-exodus-171-7-11)

b.  to shift from our unhappiness might require us to be vulnerable with the person or persons with whom we are unhappy.

1. Acknowledge our own participation.

2. Be willing to give up some of ourselves to be in right relationship with others.

c.  And it is not just Moses, but other leaders as well.

1.  Moses is instructed to take with him some of the elders.

2.  More than one party is involved in the unhappy situation.

2.  More than one party is involved in dealing with unhappiness.

3. In other words, it is not just about what someone else needs to do.

4. About what we need to do.

5. Building strong relationships means recognizing our own complicity in what has caused the unhappiness.

6.  We are in this together;

our unhappiness impacts more than just our own lives.

working through our unhappiness requires doing it together.

Move 3:And then there is the staff 

a. Moses’ staff - the charm we gave our young disciples today to remember this story.

1.  Presumably, it is the same staff Moses had in his hand when he first met God (Exodus 4:2).

2.   In some ways, an ordinary object.

3.  the support Moses used to keep his footing sure and his body upright, the weapon he could use to defend sheep—or himself—against attackers. 

4.  but, God turned it into an object of power through which Moses would work wonders in Egypt and part the sea to lead God’s people to freedom (Exodus 14:16). 

3.  With this staff a landscape could be transformed. 

4. Earlier in Exodus, The staff set in motion thunder, hail, fire, and wind (Exodus 9:23, Exodus 10:13). 

5. When Moses is standing before the Red Sea, he raises his staff and the waters part so the Israelites can pass through.

5. At Massah and Meribah, it will bring much-needed water out of the rock.  

6.  in the staff, we see God’s desire to give the Israelites what they need. (Anathea Portier-Young, Associate Professor of Old Testament Duke University Divinity School, https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/third-sunday-in-lent/commentary-on-exodus-171-7-11)

b.  in the ordinary ways of our lives, God is at work, calling us to right relationship, guiding us through our unhappiness in our lives.

Conclusion:   The people asked,  “Is the Lord among us or not?”  they discovered the answer in the God at work in their lives leading them from unhappiness to right relationship.